Xiaoxi has a friend who, while preparing for her wedding, was often seen running around communicating this and that, losing sleep over the details of her wedding. But in the end, her wedding was criticized by their relatives because of a mistake in the wedding invitation.
Originally, she invited a distant uncle and his wife, but since their daughter was already married, she was not supposed to attend. So the invitation said "xxx family". On the wedding day, xxx brought the whole family, from the elderly in their seventies to the grandchildren, all came! Due to the unexpected situation, my friend didn't arrange seats for xxx's family, and finally had to arrange for them to sit at a spare table.
Whether the distant uncle was really clueless or just thick-skinned, in the end, my friend's wedding became a topic of conversation among the relatives. My friend didn't know whether to feel happy or sad after the wedding.
Do you think human relationships are important in a wedding? If your wedding guests only remember their awkward moments and ignore the blood and tears you shed behind the scenes, forget about the blood and tears during the preparation! Those giving money will worry about how much to give, those organizing the wedding will worry about how to properly arrange relatives from various cities in the Pearl River Delta. This is a very subtle but complex issue. Although Xiaoxi is still young and not yet qualified to teach you about human relationships with parental tactics, she has compiled some awkward human relationship moments from past celebrity weddings and brides' weddings for you to consider.
1、Table Arrangement is a Must
Which elders from both families to invite, which colleagues and leaders from work to invite, and how to arrange the tables, these are the most headache-inducing aspects of wedding human relationships. It's best to prepare this with your parents, as they understand adult social rules better.
As for your young friends you want to invite, they probably won't care where they sit, and I believe they will group themselves together, haha.
Wedding Table Arrangement Guide
step1 Draft Guest List
① List
Categorize guests by family, friends, classmates, colleagues, etc., and list them.
② Budget
After initially selecting a hotel, you can determine the number of tables and guests based on the preliminary list.
③ Consider
Compare the number of guests with your budget to see if it exceeds the hotel's table limit or your budget.
④ Finalize
If it exceeds expectations, first remove less familiar people. If it still exceeds the limit, make choices, either change the venue or increase your budget. Finalize the list.
step2 Main Table Arrangement:
The newlyweds, both sets of parents, and close relatives sit at the main table near the center of the banquet hall. Arrange the relatives according to the "men on the left, women on the right" custom.
How should the main table be seated? You can't just sit randomly, it's not a game of musical chairs. Generally, the newlyweds should face the guests, with both sets of parents, grandparents, siblings, uncles, aunts, etc., sitting on either side.
If the family is large and one table isn't enough, what to do? It's suggested to set up two tables on either side of the main table, distributing the extra people like pancakes to the first row near the main table and the aisle.
The guest tables on either side of the aisle should be arranged from closest to farthest, starting with close relatives and friends, then leaders and superiors, colleagues and classmates, and finally ordinary friends.
Some brides say that nowadays, it's common for the main table to seat the bride, groom, and the bridesmaids and groomsmen. If both sets of parents have no objections, your main table can also be arranged this way~ Compared to the restraint of sitting with elders, sitting with the bridesmaids and groomsmen creates a more lively and youthful atmosphere.
step3 Guest Arrangement
① Grouping Friends Who Know Each Other
Sometimes you don't need to specifically arrange where your friends sit. If they know each other, they will naturally group themselves. They will find an empty table and sit down.
But to avoid random seating, like a table of girls and a table of boys, which might not be fully occupied, you should bring them together to fill a table, after all... it saves table money! If the boys and girls each fill a table, then never mind~
② Single Friends
Why are there single friends at a wedding? Did they not fit with their group? You should be punished by facing the wall after the event!
The solution is to fill in where needed. But note that people should be swapped! For example, mix a few university classmates with a few colleagues, preferably of similar age! They will have someone to talk to and the age gap won't be too big. If you just add one person, it might lead to awkward face-to-face silence.
③ Pay Attention to Elders and Children
Elderly relatives should be seated in convenient locations, away from the serving area and the speakers. Sometimes, when everyone is eating peacefully, the host picks up the microphone and loudly asks, "How is everyone enjoying the meal?" which can startle many, especially the elderly.
And children. Babies who can't walk are easier to handle. But if you encounter a six or seven-year-old child, it can be a headache. Make sure to keep them away from unsafe factors, such as the serving aisle and dangerous equipment like speaker wires.
Xiaoxi has shared strategies on how to deal with naughty children at weddings.
2、If You Want Human Relationships, Don't Be Shy About Spending Money
Don't always think about how much money others will give you. Xiaoxi has a saying for you: if you gave 1000 yuan at their wedding, and they return 1000 yuan at your wedding, don't be upset. After all, human relationships don't accrue interest. Just do your part in maintaining relationships.
Like the essential 10-20 yuan door-blocking red envelopes and red envelopes for children rolling on the bed, no need to say more. Xiaoxi wants to mention a few red envelopes that are easily overlooked at weddings.
Bridesmaids and Groomsmen Red Envelopes
These people wake up earlier than you on this day.
The bridesmaids accompany you while you get your makeup done, hide your wedding SHOES. During the ceremony, they stand behind you to ensure your wedding DRESS is spread out smoothly...
The groomsmen accompany the groom through the door-blocking games, and the groomsmen are the first to be tested in these games. The physical and mental torment is unimaginable. Some girls even say they want to marry a groom who has been a groomsman in their next life.
Also, toasting relies on these people to block the alcohol! Nowadays, mixing grape juice or Sprite is more common, but at critical moments, you still need them. The premise is, don't choose a pig teammate.
After the wedding, the bridesmaids and groomsmen are basically done. Remember to give them a big red envelope separately. The amount ranges from 200-800, usually ending with 8 for good luck. Don't give too little... Xiaoxi heard of a bride who gave her bridesmaid a 20 yuan red envelope, which is more awkward than not giving one at all. I would definitely cut ties, yes, Xiaoxi is that money-minded. The groom is responsible for the groomsmen's red envelopes, and the bride is responsible for the bridesmaids'.
Driver Red Envelopes
Most couples think that since they already spent money on renting wedding cars, they don't need to give red envelopes to the drivers. But for good luck, give a small red envelope along with some wedding candies and cigarettes. Ride with the experienced driver to the peak of love!
If the wedding car is borrowed from a friend, a red envelope is a must.
In some places, the number in the red envelope for drivers also has taboos. 8 is lucky for the newlyweds as it means "prosperity", but for drivers, it means "fine", so be careful.
Red Envelopes for the Four Major Roles
Photographer, videographer, makeup artist, and host are collectively called the "Four Major Roles". The newlyweds can give small red envelopes of 66 or 88 for good luck, or give some wedding candies and cigarettes as gifts. It's up to you. Xiaoxi's social circle also has practitioners showing off gifts from the newlyweds.
Guest Return Gift Red Envelopes
In most cities, return gifts are given at 10%-20% of the gift money. Xiaoxi also received them before she got married. Whether you attend or not, as long as you're single, you get a red envelope! For this reason, Xiaoxi remained single for years until she met... Wu Yanzu
Don't forget the red envelopes for the flower girls who contribute to the wedding. The amount is usually around 100-200 yuan.
3、Electronic Invitations Are Trendy, But People May Not Attend Your Wedding
Sending electronic invitations to friends before the wedding is a trendy way for young people to invite guests. Hehe, Xiaoxi must make a hard advertisement here!
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But if you want to invite older people, never use this method. Send a traditional paper invitation to the elderly, it's more formal and they will naturally take it seriously.
If you only plan to invite friends with electronic invitations, then you're really testing your friendship. Xiaoxi has seen more than one couple complain that after sending electronic invitations to their friends, only 88 replied they would come, or that friends treated the electronic invitation as spam and blocked it...
Actually, many people open electronic invitations just to see your wedding photos, not necessarily to read through. So to be safe, after sending electronic invitations, call or privately message your friends and relatives to confirm if they will attend your wedding. For a more formal approach, also send them a paper invitation. The warmth and seriousness of paper cannot be replaced by electronic invitations.
Oh right, I also heard a friend say, aren't electronic invitations just for confirming the route and hotel address? So you see, electronic invitations are important, but paper invitations should also be valued.
4、When Giving Wedding Candies, Don't Play the 369 Game
When it comes to wedding candies, no one has been as awkward as Yang Mi ten years ago or ten years later. Although gossip media are now discussing whether Yang Mi is divorced, everyone should remember when Yang Mi got married and gave out wedding candies~
Yang Mi has always been known for her high emotional intelligence, so she probably didn't want to deal with too many human relationships at her wedding. She rarely attends other celebrities' weddings, and her own wedding only invited Tang Yan. But the wedding candies became a topic of ridicule.
The "highest level" was a large box of Ferrero Rocher, given to big stars like Fan Bingbing.
Zhang Liangying received one large and two small boxes.
