The marriage process in Chaoshan now roughly consists of six steps: proposal, union, engagement, date selection, welcoming, and returning home.
1. Propose marriage
If the man wants to marry the woman, he must go to her home to propose marriage. When proposing a marriage, a matchmaker can first ask the woman to propose on behalf of the man. If the woman agrees, the man can go to her home with his parents to propose.
2. Marriage together
Marriage by marriage is a tradition that has existed since ancient times, which is based on the combination of the Eight Characters. Write the birthdates, eight characters, and ancestral origins of both men and women in the Geng Tie, and ask the master to calculate whether the two people's eight characters are suitable. In ancient times, if two people's BaZi were mutually exclusive, then marriage could not be successful. Of course, nowadays we advocate for free love, but the tradition of combining the Eight Characters still exists.
3. Engagement
If the Eight Characters are suitable, then it's time for the engagement process, commonly known as the "Lower Appointment". In addition to preparing the gift money, it is also necessary to prepare wedding gold, sugar, noodles, and so on. The man gave a betrothal gift, and the woman also needs to prepare a gift in return, and share the wedding candy with the neighbors to inform them that the wedding is approaching.
4. Choose a day
After paying the bride price, the man will choose several auspicious wedding days and give them to the woman. The wedding custom in Chaozhou is to welcome the bride late at night, so the chosen time is mostly at night.
5. Welcome, my dear
Welcoming the bride is the most important part of the wedding process, and on this day, the groom will personally go to the bride's home to marry her.
6. Returning to the house
Returning to the house is what is commonly referred to as returning to one's parents' home. The return ceremony in Chaoshan is three consecutive times. For the first two times, one can only have lunch at the bride's home and must return home before dinner. However, for the third time, one can stay overnight at the bride's home. After three visits to her parents' home, the return to the house came to an end.